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Ways to Make Your Kids Hate Church 06/29/2011
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There is concern across America that churches are losing ground in terms of their effectiveness in reaching younger generations.  While a number of books and theories have been produced explaining why this is the case, I believe the root cause is found in the home, not the church.  Ken Ham wrote a book several years ago entitled, “Already Gone”, which revealed some shocking numbers related to the percentage of kids who grow up in church, but never attend after high school or college.  Many who ‘drop out’ of church do so because they see the church as irrelevant.  Their perception of church is that church was an institution created by man for weak minded men.  The truth is that the church was ordained by God and is not for weak men, but is something designed to facilitate worship, fellowship, ministry, evangelism, and discipleship. Our perception is often formed by the way our parents act.  Those of you who are Ford truck fans undoubtedly have a father or uncle or grandfather who is a Ford man.  Those who perceive the church to be irrelevant likely believe this to be true because of how they saw their parents treat the church.  If you believe the Bible to be the Word of God, which it is, then you believe it to be true and reliable.  When scripture tells us as parents that if we “train up a child in the way he should go, then when he is old he will not depart from it”, then we should take the responsibility of raising our kids to love the church. Not because it is our heritage, but because they see in us the need the church is designed by God to meet.The church has a part in the privilege and responsibility of teaching.  A pastor’s responsibility is in part to be a teacher of the Word.  It is problematic and damaging for parents to assume that a Christian education for their child is the sole responsibility of the church. It is the responsibility of the parent to provide a Christian education for their child and part of that responsibility is bringing them to church and teaching them to love the church because it is God’s institution, not man’s.I came across this list in a brief article by Thomas Weaver on theresurgance.com.  The article is entitled:5 Ways to make your kids HATE church.1. Make sure your faith is only something you live out in publicGo to church... at least most of the time. Make sure you agree with what you hear the preacher say, and affirm on the way home what was said especially when it has to do with your kids obeying, but let it stop there. Don’t read your Bible at home. The pastor will say everything you need to hear on Sundays. Don’t engage your children in questions they have concerning Jesus and God. Live like you want to live during the week so that your kids can see that duplicity is ok.2. Pray only in front of peopleThe only times you need to pray are when your family is over, holiday meals, when someone is sick, and when you want something. Besides that, don’t bother. Your kids will see you pray when other people are watching, no need to do it with them in private.3. Focus on your moralsMake sure you insist your kids be honest with you. Let them know it is the right thing for them to do, but then feel free to lie in your own life and disregard the need to tell them and others the truth. Get very angry with your children when they say words that are “naughty” and “bad”, but post, read, watch, and say whatever you want on TV, Facebook, and Twitter. Make sure you focus on being a good person. Be ambiguous about what this means.4. Give financially as long as it doesn’t impede your needsMake a big deal out of giving at church. Stress the need to your children the value of tithing, while not giving sacrificially yourself. Allow them to see you spend a ton of money on what you want, while negating your command from Scripture to give sacrificially.5. Make church community a priority... as long as there is nothing else you want to doHey, you are a church going family, right? I mean, that’s what you tell your friends and family anyways. Make sure you attend on Sundays. As long as you didn’t stay up too late Saturday night. Or your family isn’t having a big barbeque. Or the big game isn’t on. Or this week you just don’t feel like it. Or... I mean, you're a church-going family, so what’s the big deal?These five points are really at the core of the problem churches are facing across the country.  Adults in the church are living as nominal Christians.  A faith that does not affect the way you live and act is not a faith.  In the book of James we read that “faith without works is dead.” The life we lead should be the result of having a life and heart changed by Christ through faith in his finished work on the cross. 
 


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    Pastor Stephen Anderson is the Senior Pastor at Faith Baptist Church

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